http://240540491.qzone.qq.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:35:50 GMT Qzone zh-cn Copyright (C), 2005-2008, Tencent Tech. Co., Ltd. Sat, 14 Mar 2009 12:51:05 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1237035065 想离开这里
想逃去一个没有人认识我的陌生的国度
想找个不同语言的人对他哭诉我的悲伤与寂寞
想。。。。。。。。。

可惜我是个胆小鬼
从来不曾下定决心
一次次受伤
一次次哭泣
一次次反省
却始终摆脱不了这轮回的宿命
无论怎样努力
终有一日
我会心力交瘁而死

也许我的灵魂早已厌倦了这傀儡般的身体
抛弃了它
独自死去
灵肉分离

我是一个不完整的人
渴望却害怕找到迷失的那一部分
烟酒是个刽子手
但我却在疼痛中找到快感
麻木了
快乐了
血流成河 ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1237035065#comment 134218240 Sat, 14 Mar 2009 12:51:05 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1237035065 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1218194846 Yesterday is Chinese Valentines Day```it’s my first time to have someone on this special day```I used to stay at home and not go out at this ramantic night```so I was really really happy about last night```not just because I have someone to hang out with , but also I really like this guy```he’s from USA which is a good country```we’ve known each other for more than one year```it’s a long time```we didn’t feel anything until he was back for studying chinese three months ago```actually we didn’t decide to do anything until we both found out that we couldn’t lie to ourselves anymore so we thought we should be honest```he used to tell me that I have to work really really hard to get what I want , I can not just have it that easily```at that moment in my opinion I thought he was the one who needed to work hard for it and I had been doing that all the time```well after several times of long talk we both thought we want it so bad and we both wanna try to make it work```yes , distance is a problem , but it’s not a big problem , we can get over it , we can handle this , we can make it happen```just like what I said , I have faith ! ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1218194846#comment 512 Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:27:26 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1218194846 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1213632737 I saw his broken-up letter a few days ago```it hurt me so bad```I cried again```u can’t see the wound doesn’t mean it’s not there```it’s invisible```it’s gonna be with u for all of ur life till u r dead```I’m strong and tough but I’m a girl anyway```
I told him this afternoon that people always like something they can’t have```and he said yes , he likes me but he can’t have me```I just looked at him and laughed```he said his ex-girlfriend and his mother all have known about me and asked if I’m his girlfriend```he didn’t know how to answer them```so I told him that there is no need to answer```we made a lot of jokes when we were togethere```he always says that I’m his chinese girlfriend and I just let him and don’t deny```maybe that’s the reason why we had a serious talk tonight```he said we like each other , but he’s gonna leave eventually , he doesn’t want to hurt my feeling when he leaves , he wants something’s gonna happen between us but he’s so scared```he doesn’t want to be that Luke guy```what can I say ?! all I can say is I don’t care where we r going , I just want to be happy when I could be happy```life is too short , we should enjoy what we have now```I’m not that kind of girl who would say NO to happiness because of being afraid of getting hurt```so let’s just enjoy the time when we r togethere```I’ve never said that we r a couple```
On the way home I cried again```I’m so pathetic```I always like guys who will leave me```I told myself a long time ago that we r just friends and I just look for fun not a relationship```it turns out that I’m liar , I lied to myself```I always tell my friends to go for their happiness```but me , I’m a craven```I can’t do anything to make my love works```I don’t have enough courage to give up on my job and my family for my love```I don’t think I would be happy just like everyone does```what am I suppose to do ? ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1213632737#comment 512 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:12:17 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1213632737 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1211813838 上个礼拜五,我犯了一个大错```这是我的职业生涯中的第一个错误```5'12地震,我被工行派驻到杭州市慈善总会接收捐款```一直到23号为止,我已经连续工作了14天```整个精神状态处于疲惫压抑中```23号晚上的最后一笔账,我出错了,轧账发现,少了900块```奇怪的是,我对每笔业务都记忆犹新,并且认为从始至终都没有出错```900块就那么凭空消失了吗?我不知道```不管我怎么回忆,我始终觉得我是对的```领导给我分析了一下,觉得就是最后那笔账有问题```因为就在它之前,我们刚刚轧过账```所以只可能也只会是它有问题```知道了错误可能在那里,我很郁闷,郁闷到想哭,但又哭不出来```这是我职业生涯中的第一个错误,居然金额就这么大!虽然同事们都安慰我说900块不算什么,他们第一次出错金额要大了去了```可是我不能允许自己犯这种低级错误```点个钱居然也会点错!这也太没技术含量了吧!就这样,郁闷了两天,追了两天的账,还是石沉大海,毫无音讯```终于,今天下午,打通了那个人的电话,在半骗半哄的状态下,那个人犹犹豫豫地承认是可能是他犯了错,并同意重新出具发票,让我可以更账```心里的石头终于落下了,感觉真的很舒服!之前领导跟我说,我们行长说,如果钱追不回来的话,短款她替我出,虽然是一番好意,但是我是不会接受的```是我犯的错,没必要让别人来替我承担,我不是胆小鬼```做人要有担当```从头到尾,我的态度都很好,勇于承认错误并积极的想办法改正```可能就是因为这个原因吧,庆春支行跟凤起支行都有意想把我要了去```虽然没有最终决定,但还是蛮开心的一下```如此想想,以前高中老师说的"态度决定一切"还是有道理的!``
实习马上就要结束了,很快就要踏上梦寐以求的工作岗位,想着终于可以靠自己的能力挣钱了,很HIGH```当然,钱是伴随着压力而来的```我不会害怕,更不会逃避```我要用我的能力来证明,我对得起拿的薪水````
最后,还想说:honey,no matter what happens,just remember be happy!u gotta live for yourself,u smiled,u cried,that's enough```that's ur memory and no one can take it away from u``` ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1211813838#comment 512 Mon, 26 May 2008 14:57:18 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1211813838 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1207380517 最近周围有很多人都以实习为主题写了文章，我也不能落于人后。之前我一直在工行庆春路支行本级业务部实习，这家银行说大不大，说小也不小。因为之前有去过谢太的银行，感受过她那热情如火的食堂，所以我还满心欢喜，盼望着工行也能给我欢欣鼓舞的伙食。结果，结果太让我失望了！那个饭菜真叫一个烂！作为一家国有银行的支行，它怎么可以如此放松对自己的要求！实在是太不像话了！我很生气，结果很严重！除此之外，它还让我明白了一件事，那就是，一个人，居然可以活的如此的空虚！我实在是太空了！空到心里都发慌了！每天早上8点40到银行，换好制服，开个晨会，然后就坐在师傅后面，开始了一天漫长而空虚的实习```一开始我还很小心谨慎，不敢玩手机，所以一到中午，我的手机短信就会堆积如山，我就利用午休时间疯狂的回短信```时间久了，我也就放肆了，当然原因是没人管我```而且，因为我是新人，没人跟我一起吃午餐，我又不屑于跟那个走后门的外地大脸青年用餐，所以我就找谢太一起吃饭```这是实习期间唯一让我开心的事```大前天下午，当我一蹦一跳的从中行回来，心里想着“啊，明天又可以和她见面，实在是太好了”的时候，经理跑过来跟我说，行长找我。于是我跟那个走后门的外地大脸青年忐忐忑忑地去见行长。接下来，我就被光荣而又无奈的分到了红会储蓄所。我不得不说：在经历了支行的烂食堂的打击之后，我原本天真的以为，我已经很坚强了，可结果证明，世事难料，我的承受能力实在是有待加强！所以，我再一次被工行所震撼了！我现在实习的这个网点实在是，哎，我都没办法用中文来形容它，我只能说：it’s so fucking sucks that I don’t even wanna look at it which could makes me cry whenever I go there！接着，昨天我又接受了一次震撼教育：所长说已经在帮我申请柜员号了，师傅说顶多再20天，一旦我拿到工号，我就要上柜工行了```这未免也太强人所难了吧```虽说我很talented，但在这么短的时间内就要让我从一个局外人摇身变为一个行家里手，这也太看的起我了吧```我心脏不好，受不了刺激```所以，我只能冒着每天要死N亿个脑细胞的危险，全心全意focus on my job which is boring to death```希望等我正式上柜的那一天，我不会对业务感到太陌生，要不然，我真是没脸见人了```最后，用一句我现在经常对自己说的话来结尾吧：实习，要耐得住寂寞！


p.s 本来想用E写的,可是连王太都改变了风格用国语写,那我是不是也应该向她学习呢?还有,希望各位奋斗在实习第一线的我的girls可以坚强的熬过这段日子```毕竟,有一天,也会有实习生会死在我们手上的```就以此为盼头,勇敢的活下去吧! ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1207380517#comment 528 Sat, 05 Apr 2008 07:28:37 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1207380517 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1198851656 it's almost the end of 2007,sitting on my chair,listening to LinKin Park,then i start to think that if there is someone who is holding my hands,would i feel better?at least not so lonely```
i know the answer and it hurts me```do i have some special scents that only man could smell that and then come to me,have a crush on me,make me like them and then leave me```what sick bastards!
i found my true love,he was so perfect that i could ignore all his shortcomings```but he left me for a good reason which was very reasonable that if i was not in my hometown i could get a homesick and wanna go home no matter how much i loved my bf```so i understand him,i don't hate him for that```
someone was there for me after he left,i didn't see him because there was only one in my heart and that made me couldn't feel anything from him for what he had done for me```i was selfish```so i got revenge```it really hurt me,even now i still can not stop thinking about him```it's ridiculous```
i met a asshole who was very very evil that made me want to slap on his face```he meant nothing to me so,whatever```
so i guess i have a bad luck on my relationship,and now i decide to make a decision that i don't want to love anyone in 2008```just take a rest and be alone,maybe it's the best for me``` ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1198851656#comment 512 Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:20:56 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1198851656 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1194528912 so many things happened in this year,kind of weird because i've never thought i could meet these people and we could have these interesting and sad stories.at first i felt confused,someone left,someone showed up.and then it happened again,just this time it turned into different guys.i guess this is life,we could never imagine what will happen.
i've been busy studying and in Jan i'll go to ICBC for my trainning as a internship,i don't know exactly how long i will do it,maybe 5 or 6 months,but i'll try my best.i know i'm not the best,but when i do it,i'll show everyone my best side.that's me,a girl who will never let you down.
past has gone,no matter how badly i want it come back,it just can't happen.there is nothing i can do,i cry when i feel sad,i smile when i feel happy.a simple life is good for me,now,at least.i'll keep all these stuffs in my memory and they're my treasures.i won't forget that.but if someday there is someone asks me,i'll say "just let it go,i don't want to talk about it anymore."
i want to be happy,no more pains,no more tears,no more saying goodbye,i'm so tired of thoes heart-broken stuffs.maybe being alone is a good idea.because in that way no one can hurt me.i'm the only one who can protect myself. ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1194528912#comment 512 Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:35:12 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/1194528912 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/9 临近毕业，压力越来越大。该拿的证书还没拿到手，该通过的技能考试也还在努力当中，一切都还处在游离状态，真的好想让一切都尘埃落定。心身都承受着难以言语的折磨，期望着有谁能够来拯救我。漫长的奢望等待之后才发现，世界上没有为我而生的天使，我只能自我救赎。
如果说高考是一场倾盆大雨的话，那么大学毕业所面临的就业问题就是一场冻彻心扉的暴风雪。高三时，我只要心怀希望，咬紧牙关努力复习，就可以撑过去。但是现在，我真的没有信心。渺小的我，如此平凡，要怎样做才能够从千千万万的佼佼者中脱颖而出。所以，我只能努力努力再努力。可是，这世上的事并非都能如你所愿。付出与回报似乎永远都不能划上等号。我应该就此放弃吗？`````````不！知难而退不是我的作风！我不要认输！我要做笑到最后的那个人！即使上天对我不公，我也不要就此退却。就像我常说的那样，“人不可能晦气一辈子”，只要我够努力，坚持着，坚持着，总会有出头的那一天！
]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/9#comment 512 Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:42:34 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/9 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/8 灿烂的微笑，迷人的双眼，洁白的牙齿，帅气的舞姿，磁性的嗓音~~~不管我用多少赞美的词语，都无法准确地描绘出他，因为他就是完美的化身——M。
初次看见他，只觉得这个男人很可爱。刚刚还在爽朗地笑着，音乐一起，他立刻就变身成为舞林至尊，万人瞩目的焦点。无庸置疑，他就是地上最强！因为他，我不断地从网上下载“情书”，看着电脑里那个闻歌起舞的帅OPPA，心里真的好满足！
昨天晚上看了东方台的“群星耀东方”，虽然电视台把M表演的节目进行了删剪，但这又何妨，根本无法掩饰住他与身俱来的巨星气质。他在台上的一颦一笑，一个举手投足，都是橙饭心中的最爱。也许昨晚的表演并不是最完美的，但却是他用心投入的结果。一个人只要用心去做一件事，总可以感动别人！
刚刚特意看了由他主演的电影《元卓的天使》，虽然演技稍显稚嫩，但他全身心的表演仍然让我很感动。戏里他扮演一个问题学生，心里渴望父爱，却难以接受父亲在出狱前一天死在狱中的消息，所以就自暴自弃。在经过一段时间的磨练之后，最终找回自己，重新做人。这样立志的电影由M出演，更是意义非凡。M出道时也经历了许多挫折，但他不弃不馁，凭借着自己坚强的意志走到了今天，成为如今韩国首屈一指的巨星。这样的人，难道不值得我们的尊敬吗？我也希望自己能像他一样，通过自己的不懈努力，最终获得成功，赢得别人的尊敬，他就是我奋斗的目标。
尽管我从来没有真正看过他本人，欣赏过他的表演，但我仍然很欣赏他。也许他不是神话中最帅的一个，但却是最有魅力的一个。虽然有生之年我们不可能会相见，但我仍然要说，李珉宇，这个男人，我会永远守护你，为你加油的！ ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/8#comment 512 Mon, 05 Feb 2007 05:16:27 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/8 http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/7 郁闷！气愤！礼拜五早上居然让我遇到一个疯子变态狂！事情是这样的（套用谢太的那句话）：礼拜五早上我跟同学打卡回来，准备去食堂买早饭。远远地，就看到馒头摊前面人挺少的，只有一个大概175CM的男生站在那儿。那个男生看上去傻傻的，穿了一套好像是小学生的校服，手里拿了个馒头，就那么呆呆地站在那儿，就像是从精神病院里逃出来的病人一样。我也没多想，就走过去，想去买个馒头。哪知道当我走到他旁边的时候，那个男的突然转身离开，同时，用他的馒头在我的右肩上使劲地蹭了一下。我顿时呆在那儿了！我跟茹茹说：你说，那个男的是不是疯子？如果不是，那他为什么用那么油的馒头在我的肩上蹭！难道他不知道，这种行为有多令人厌恶嘛！就当我们迷茫地讨论着那个变态男的时候，一旁卖馒头的大妈说“不，他不是疯子”。就是这句话，更加坚定了我恨他的态度！于是，我决定以牙还牙。我也买了个馒头，径直向他走去。当时，他已经离开了馒头摊，在食堂靠后的座位那边站着理东西。我拿着馒头，对着他的后背，狠狠地擦过。然后，趾高气扬地离开。我偷偷地回头看了一眼，那个变态男没有反应，心想着，可能他觉得自己理亏，也不敢表示出来吧。于是，我便和茹茹撑伞回寝室。就在我们走出食堂大概15米的地方，只觉得我的雨伞突然被重重的敲打了一下。我马上回头，原来是那个变态跑上来，用他的雨伞打我的伞。他看到我回头，便撒腿就跑。我的火一下子就上来了，我也不顾形象了，破口大骂。具体骂的什么也不记得了，反正就是些骂人的话，最后我还骂到：你有本事跑回来！（当然，我是用杭州话骂的）那个变态听到我开骂，跑的更快了！
就这样，好好的一个早晨，就被一个变态加疯子的男人给破坏了！后来，我逢人便说我的可怕可怜的遭遇！事实是：那个男的的确是有病！他就站在那儿，等着有人过来，这样他就可以随便任意地擦他的馒头。巧就巧在，那个不幸的人是我！于是，我便成了他的“刀下亡魂”！可是，我也不是什么善男信女，受了欺负，我是绝对不可能忍气吞声的！要知道，我的座右铭可是“人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我必犯人”！对于欺负我的人，我绝对不会姑息，我要报复！甚至是成倍地报复！
然后礼拜五晚上回家，我跟爸爸妈妈说了这事。他们两人的态度截然相反！爸爸不相信大学里会有疯子；而妈妈则告诉我前两天报纸上登了一个新闻，大概内容就是关于疯子犯法是不用法律责任的，于是她让我以后碰到疯子就走远点，就算吃了亏，也只能自认倒霉，千万不要想着报复。要我说，疯子怎么啦！难道疯子就能仗着自己有病，随意地到处做伤天害理的事吗！若真是这样，我看有病的不止是疯子，那些制定这些法律条款的人也离疯子不远了！疯子犯了法，就该接受跟正常人一样的惩罚！甚至是死刑！这样，他们就不能再祸国殃民了！这样，我也不会有早上那样的经历了！说到底，还是那些处于社会高层的人在控制着这个社会。他们要营造出一种他们是善人，他们懂得怜爱的让大家迷惑的错觉。而他们这样做的代价，便是我们这些无辜的人。他们是疯狂的！我鄙视他们！我恨他们！ ]]> http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/7#comment 512 Sat, 09 Dec 2006 05:09:48 GMT http://240540491.qzone.qq.com/blog/7