http://410009830.qzone.qq.com Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:13:00 GMT Qzone zh-cn Copyright (C), 2005-2008, Tencent Tech. Co., Ltd. Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:59:54 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1256911194 Most of being is living off the youth, he who doesn't care, he who isn't aware, that the life is a gift itself. They cry out for things, sometimes get what they want, some time got lost. They forget the fact that life is broken to pieces by nature, even tiny little slot worth much much more than whatever they crave.

Yet being is too short to think over the meanings, which are indeed the worst nightmare. Once get into that mood, hardly pull oneself out only if hit by the answer. I'm chasing none, not a dream not a life, only some beautiful bubbles bearing my life's colors.

Truth is always hidden somewhere, answer always lies inside, and there is nowhere. Seeing is that to be seen, accordingly to one's will. Thus the full picture never exists, to some extend, the forsaken exposes completely honesty in many aspects. Don't ever hold back, even not to look back.

Put away the words that you gave, to listen to the song of the past days. Never again touched by the tones. Senarios changing, indicating the moving, forwards and backwards. Motion strings the emotions, lost in a way one cannot tell. Once shut, once broke, it ends silently. I have all the powers, not the time. Let them bygone.

Hardly, does anyone listen, to the very one he really cares, the soul of his own. ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1256911194#comment 134218240 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:59:54 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1256911194 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1254846362
Life has been a messy player with me, everything rushes, comes and goes, fast like time flying.

I wasn't even able to get a clear clue on them, and they all passed by like never happened.

That's why my thoughts clustered and nearly stopped, like one moment frozen to absolute zero.

Therefore, put down anything on paper or type some on laptop is such a mission impossible for me ... how can I throw out so much once and for all.

Nope, the dynamic inner balance is tremendously shaken, and in a misterious way, I survives my own tragic drama. By means of the thing I used to call "simlicity", simple being is being simple.

Recalled some friend always likes to quote "we are what we were, hardly", and "it is what it is" as I thought.

Now I finally get that what makes a poet, that there is so much going on inside his mind, and millions and thousands of lines can't even close express his idea, thus he tends to use metaphoric to concentrate his thoughts.

So that am I.

Specific events, particular incidences, happy accidents, and things like or unlike those everyday routines...

There are so many things I would like to try, almost like suddenly, I found myself refresh again, not even once before in my life did I feel like that. Gradually, I grow up, like a true man.

I knew, I would be good. But I don't know, what's my limits. I mean, nothing is impossible.

To those who might concern, I behave the way you want me to be, I would like you to like me. If the affection becomes strong enough, we all know what is deep down in our heart.

May everyone find what they expected to see here:) ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1254846362#comment 134218240 Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:26:02 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1254846362 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1243372600 Sometimes just felt like brainwashed, everything gone completely. wiped out.
Some recent memory cannot stay fresh for reasonble period of time. Forgotful. Short term memory.
I don't have plans. I rise for this and down for it too.
There is something to change right now, can't wait any long.
If some cannot be touched ... that's the way it is... ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1243372600#comment 134218240 Tue, 26 May 2009 21:16:40 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1243372600 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1238511048 The truth is, he failed...
However, sometimes the dream of men's passed on to the next generation and the coming ones, just like old Chinese fariy tale. His son, carried on his career to build the bridge. And surprise surprise, he connected Mahhattan and Brooklyn with a bridge. Standing still even today.

It is a real fariy tale and inspiring in the American-dream way.
I seldom believe in American Dream, because that's the gorgeous hallucination made up to fool the world.
Just like the way freedom isn't free, it comes with a price I can never bear.
Yes, American dream is nothing but money and fame, it is hollowness and vanity.

So why I'm talking about Brooklyn Bridge ... that's the kind of mission bring goodness to everyone, what's in that kind of self-achievement? Such endurence is somehow alike our races' good quality. Everything is worthwhile doing, difference is the way we define.

That's the quesion I bear all along. ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1238511048#comment 142606848 Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:50:48 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1238511048 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234853788
It's much like faith, but not exactly the same. For the sake of living, faith is something we only get sometimes, it's blind. Maybe always attached with many solid reasons, it's something we rather rely on than ever doubt. Relatively, truth is easy. Without too many hard feelings on struggling with the noble or mean faith, truth is out fro
m inside, deep down from bottom of our soul. Because it's raised by the most original desire, love.

Yes, the love for something, the love for someone. Why life truth?

... to be continued ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234853788#comment 134218240 Tue, 17 Feb 2009 06:56:28 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234853788 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234062523 There always comes hard decisions to make, I used to hand them over to others, whoever concerns or disconcerns me, picks up anything for me. I lived like that, and I thought I was gonna be like that forever, never have to confront my own needs. Why am I so afraid to admit my own desires? I have this purified thought, that any action I take will take toll of others. Maybe it's time made up my mind. I choose, I control, even more, I design.

The Grudge.
It's something haunting me all the way along, ever since born, lasts till the end. Every time, I think I find some worthwhile, it always disappoints me right after I decided to hold on to it. Maybe I'm doomed to be on my own, or some force just won't let me get fooled by good lookings. Sounds fair.

A fresh new start. Hopefully, everything will turn out just fine.
Like I said before, never too careful. That "hopefully" is not just literally ironic, indeed, it explains my entire value on life, or whatever I am doing: I do as best as I can, with the hope of the equal fine result, with fear that some nowhere bad luck will destroy all ... you know what, it goes around, turns around, bad thoughts always prepare me for reasons. Thus, I don't get hurt easily, in the same way, I don't give up.

Eyes only for who do care: So grateful that you saved me from drowning in selfdestruction.
You know I was talking to you, right?

INVULNERABLE ... Harmony and Mercy.
An incidence that just happened, no better no worse, just the deal, well, seal a deal. It starts out of nowhere, ends at somewhere. Not something I didn't expect, but definitely never occurred to me during that term. One best way to act is to play dump, things they never came clean, just roll with it. That's the thing I'll never say. In fact, anything speaks for themselves, the more you want to ignore, the more it strike you. That is also what I claimed before, some mean people don't need spelling, their desires would torture their souls badly enough to serve the justice.

Your smile shining through ...
Yeah, you again:)

I don't play catch.
Well, I used to look up to someone, really have expected a lot more better qualities from them. I can't blame too much, maybe the only one who can be wrong was me ... put too much hope on a worldly human. But still, I hold on to the only hope I've got!

I never throw away good memories, as well as the opposite.
That's just the way I was made. Idealist and realist at the same time. They might seem no relevant to memories, but they surely explain how my brain works ...Indeed, now it's a mess. Memories like love, they are made with someone else:P, I don't act judgemental when seeing people, but I can't help judge what kind of person I am when I'm with them.

Messiah complex: sacrifice myself and the loved ones for greater good.
I used to believe that I'm a superman, now I think I'm better than him. For he's always a legend and an undercover hero, I am the real one anyone can count on. I do what I do, and I'm not what you think I am.

To those who really care: the best is yet to come! It's time to rise!!
Yeah, talking to you again. THOSE WHO REALLY CARE, I care about you in the same way you care about me. Right now, I think I have spent too much time feeling sorry for myself, but forget the most thing I must have done. I hate to fail you any more ... ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234062523#comment 134218240 Sun, 08 Feb 2009 03:08:43 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1234062523 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1228016242 I used to find myself full of possibilities, thinking of myself as kind of multiple materials, like one of those times, I had been preparing for work and further study, handling major and minor, managing time meets between study and hang out with friends ... not exaggerating, I turned out fine, with some regrets though, but I was proud of that moments. But when bygones is bygone, come to think about these experiences, I concluded to a disappointment, if I were ever focused on one stuff I ever digged my toe, I would be more successful and confident than I am now. Always, there is a trade-off, happy or happier, or otherwise miserable. I spent too much time mourning about my past, now I finally draw some useful ideas from my history, that is, possibilities are not for humans to control, once they lay they are there, once they blew they are not.
It's like the word, curse and bless go both ways. One incidence or one man can be bless only if we conduct in the right way. They used to say that god work in a mysterious way, there's no god but nature of the universe. Somehow, the universe functions through us. Like I put across here, the possibilities lie in ourselves, we are not to control, we just carry them out. ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1228016242#comment 134218240 Sun, 30 Nov 2008 03:37:22 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1228016242 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227994242 Especially for my people, those who bearing the hope of their families and friends, straining themselves to get to used the life of other countries, suffering from multiple pressures from everywhere, we are the ones that always longing for care and kindness from others. And this nature makes humanity much more vivid than ever, we tend to be nice towards strangers, offering any kind of help and suggestion, seem to be selfish and helpful, and never asking for any favor in return. Actually, acting this way is potentially count our own hopes on others, hoping them to pay back our efforts, to gain the care from others, to earn the trust of others, to build up a reputation to get more friends, and ultimately wishing to have some counterpart in this life, a companion.
In order to serve the purpose of studying and living in US, I seriously considered to let go off my older principles and belongings, to have a free fight, without any luxury thoughts, without any idealism, without any hope ... just like desperate people gain willful power to survive the risk. ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227994242#comment 134218240 Sat, 29 Nov 2008 21:30:42 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227994242 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227149718
I admire someone's way of being simple, just like what my tag said, "simple being is being simple." In nature, we are nothing but simple flesh, pure soul and honest heart. However exposed to the world, we become worldly, we learn to judge and weigh, and some of us, or most of us go bad. Piece by piece, the soul is rotten to dust. Dipping ourselves in the dirty worldly dead sea, such is my saying ... including myself. Hope can turn to hatred. More or less, I hate myself. ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227149718#comment 134218240 Thu, 20 Nov 2008 02:55:18 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1227149718 http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1225326438 As for me, I only have one ultimate desire and every other things are to determine themselves. Sometimes, my friends and relatives would suggest me what so ever they thought was right after long-termed evaluations. I do as told, anyway, they are my loved ones and they know better what's good for me. That, saves me lots of energy, and enable me to consider my own stuff, which, consequently in a funny way lead to my self-admiration and self-destruction. I dreamed away and went into wild imagination most of the time normally people used to consider realistic solutions in practice. I was meant for ultimate fun of the humanbeing... might as well arrogantly say so.
And I know people.... ]]> http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1225326438#comment 134218240 Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:27:18 GMT http://410009830.qzone.qq.com/blog/1225326438